A Lot Ado About Having Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It has been a huge few days for homosexual-related first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual magazines!

The basic piece comes to us via xojane, the ladies's website oriented up by Jane Pratt (my hero)

(I'm major) of

Sassy

and

Jane.

Entitled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this part falls under the “it just happened in my opinion” feature that also existed at JANE magazine and consists mainly of writer/reader-submitted accounts of subjectively interesting private encounters.

The anonymous composer of this part, which we'll contact “Ariel,” is clearly bisexual, but because she conveniently supplies strike jobs to her male partners but does not day or frequently go lower on ladies, this woman is, she clarifies, officially, only a ”

Lesbian

Pillow Princess.” (She also means by herself as “mostly directly” and “directly” at some other points in the story.) Her reputation began, she describes, when her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke known as Kelly at the woman school — took place on her behalf for an hour. She la-la-la-loved it then immediately fled the world fearing her own failure to do these types of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a long duration.

She produces:

“obviously, phrase had gotten around that she and that I had hooked up and that I would left the lady dangling, which had the odd effect of offering me personally folk-heroine status. Kelly called myself a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I became one. It absolutely was like some kind of film conceit in which the character is actually seen erroneously as a hollywood and gets to ride in a limo and stay in a fancy lodge as a result of it.”

This evidently entirely exercised within her benefit, as she romped about in college starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds just who got down throughout the proven fact that I happened to be unwilling to let a girl touch me personally.” Post-college, she moved on with the net, in which she marketed their calm status and frequently met up with girls for NSA gender.

Around the conclusion she problematically explains that when connecting with a woman she's perhaps not drawn to, she merely shuts the woman sight and envisions some other person “while [the lesbian] does the woman thing.” Sometimes it appears like she wants females to consume her out because they are presumably much better at it than guys are. She

could

decrease on it but “I'm not online dating all of them, and I also don't think i'd wish to have my personal fetish corrupted by caring for somebody sufficient to give back.”

I wouldn't want to sit next to Ariel on an airplane, but the woman one-sided intimate encounters tend to be consensual and she actually is simply advising a real tale of her existence, thus I'm not sure things to make of this (and that I'm curious to know what you create of it, if such a thing).

Next, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Project
) we
I Married a Lesbian (And I'm a Guy)
. Mcdougal, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended to get crushes on a single particular lady: the star baseball player, the football forward, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren't.” The guy questioned:

What exactly is it that drew me frequently to women that were same-sex drawn? It surely wasn't the stereotypical male fantasy in what they were doing between the sheets, also it undoubtedly had nothing at all to do with a macho perception that I could change a gay woman directly.

In elements, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical floor) reminded myself of the quote from

The Girls Next-door

,
which I cited in a write-up about female masculinity
:

“…if we had to make one other generalization about lesbian style, it could be that the majority of united states are powerfully drawn to women, gay or straight, gorgeous or otherwise not, which look as if they are able to take care of on their own.”

Mcdougal ultimately marries a lesbian who displayed as straight, and then he discovered their own causing love life getting unsatisfactory. She refused to offer him hit tasks and failed to love penetration but cheerfully accepted his offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their own sexless matrimony finished in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he or she is relatively compassionate to his ex-wife's battle as opposed to labeling her as misleading (as many of commenters would):

She had come from a traditional family who would have already been seriously embarrassed getting a homosexual kid. She may usually have known, but performed this lady best to hide it, probably wishing that her thoughts might change. Or she might-have-been like more than a few ladies I identified, and only found the woman genuine intimate identity after already becoming hitched to a man.

What exactly is redeeming concerning this essay in my opinion that the writer's conception of his very own gender is generally without any the conventional male posturing one might expect in a bit like this (the guy also describes themselves as “femmy”). Possibly it simply appears that way because men therefore seldom come up with wishing powerful, sports, powerful females with short hair; but it's refreshing however.

I do not mistake Hugo or Ariel for telling their unique tales, but it is well worth pointing out that both narratives seem to drive in the concept that room behavior could be the ultimate/only litmus test of sexuality. Hugo and Courtney enjoy each other's company, but Hugo cites Courtney's disinterest in penetration as a “warning sign” the guy missed, whenever entrance is barely a specifically heterosexual work (this indicates more inclined Courtney dreaded the intimacy of entrance with a person she failed to wish as with, yet , that knows) and slipping crazy, eventually, is all about the vagina but it is also regarding your center and it's mostly about having intimate feelings. Those passionate thoughts are what turns a hook-up relationship into a relationship, most likely.

At long last at

nerve.com

we have a sweet tale straight from horse's mouth —
My Very First Time: Female. 17. Bay Area
. I do believe this is the first time the “very first time” series has actually showcased a lesbian.

Generally, in ninth class, mcdougal confessed to the woman best friend that she had lesbian thoughts for her, and her closest friend reciprocated, and additionally they proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian union plus they are however with each other now and she actually is a grown-up inside military!

It seems they will have but to just take their particular relationship out of the cabinet, that will be quite puzzling, but whatever

. [

ETA

: works out this tale was authored before DADT had been repealed, though it just adopted posted, for that reason there is nothing puzzling going on right here. This is just straight-up nice in most means, unequivocally.]

The focus on the piece (and that is very sweet and sweet) is on mcdougal's finding of
what lesbian intercourse is quite
:

We'd never ever come down on every various other, and that I had been confident that is what we would meant as soon as we stated we desired to have sexual intercourse. (today we realize there's a lot more to fucking than slurping a lady's snatch and phoning it just about every day.)

She concludes:

I'm sure that a lot of people disagree in what virginity way to a gay girl, but virginity is entirely subjective, therefore actually will depend on who you're asking. Many people might state entrance must be included, but In my opinion it's as much as anyone dropping his / her virginity. Basically feel like I missing my personal virginity, after that goddammit, I have!

I spent the majority of the day and afternoon watching word press, trying to figure out what point I could make about some of these parts. I imagined much about why we'd never ever publish “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about this internet site but can't see through the reason that I would worry 50 of you would vow not to return here and the remaning many-thousands of you would fight with one another about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure up until the heating loss of the market. I pictured someone distributing “I Was a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to us via e-mail and then I dreamed the article conference where we might reach that tale and all sorts of say “NO” likewise.

In on the lookout for a point to gleam from the tales, I've made an effort to determine what you'd think or say, and I are unable to, and I also should complete this blog post asap to increase the process of me personally learning what you think about these tales. Yup, for the first time since that time beginning Autostraddle, I've had gotten little idea what to state about anything. Thus perhaps I should only ask you — what's your own a reaction to these pieces?